This is a guest post by Lloyds Apple of deathrattlesports.com and leniche.com. While I obviously disagree with the overall conclusion here, his view is prevalent enough to warrant some airtime and hopefully some thoughtful response.
As much as I hear about how people “hate their jobs,” I can’t help but wonder what would happen to these folks if, you know, they really had to work. What do I mean?
Well, from my experience, the people that complain about their jobs the most are usually the ones that really suck at their jobs and the ones that are doomed to stay at their go-nowhere-job and their go-nowhere-position for life. That or they are the ones who will soon get fired, only to take another position they despise just as much. After all, it’s easier to complain than come up with a semi-original idea.
I grew up in a small go-nowhere town listening to people complain endlessly how bad it was. Now, when I make me once-a-year Christmas vacation to see Grams n’ Gramps, I see those same people who never left.
Some folks actually had a real gripe when it comes to their jobs. Take the majority Navy Men in submarines from World War II, for example. They not only had to spend months in tight corridors with other smelly men but they also camped out in an underwater vessel that was laced with airborne asbestos. And it was not only those in subs, but also battleships, aircraft carriers and so on.
Fast forward 20+ years and many of our military veterans who risked their lives to defend our right to bitch about our jobs were diagnosed with the cancer resulting from asbestos known as mesothelioma.
Going back further, could you imagine being the guys who had to clear the American landscape westward so we could do what we do? Mosquitoes, snakes, bears, alligators and so on must have been a real bummer.
I wonder if they at least had the opportunity to write in a journal that, “Geez, this job blows.” So it’s true that many of our jobs really do suck. When I see someone towing my car, for example, the first thought is, “I hate your job” or “your job sucks” or “you suck”.
But the reality is if your job really does suck then change it. If you don’t rest assured we’ll sit back and mock you. Because if you work a job that sucks, you suck at the job and your attitude about your employment experience sucks than you my friend suck.
All of us have had it happen. A normal day, going about our usual business when, like an ambush, someone unloads on us with no filter, no perspective, and no mercy.
In many cases, the recipient did nothing to deserve harsh treatment other than walk by while looking like a promising target, but even when there is a legitimate complaint, the delivery method is completely inappropriate overkill.
Destructive criticism doesn’t always have to be so dramatic, mind you. It may be an email, it may be a few pointed words, and it may even be some subtle generalities about being useless, frustrating, or dense.
The common theme of all such criticism is that, afterwards, the recipient of the destruction is going to be angry, confused, hurt, or all of the above. Usually, onlookers or co-recipients will be wide-eyed and slack-jawed in recognition of the inappropriateness of it all.
Don’t Take the Personal Stuff Personally
While you may be impossibly frustrating, just asking for someone to tell you off at every turn, that’s probably not really what’s going on. Even if that is the case, there is no excuse for verbal abuse when an adult conversation is always an option.
What’s far more likely is that you ran into the human equivalent of this guy:
They were going to pop at some point or another, it was just a question of who turned the crank.
Regardless of the circumstances, reasonable people don’t cross the line without apologizing later. When someone is a jerk, when they yell, when they say something destructive and hurtful–that is an indication that they are not reasonable: they’ve done it before and will do it again.
So next time someone tries to destroy you with criticism, think of it as an unlucky encounter with an impersonal event like catching the stop light, having your flight delayed, or having your cable go down.
Because with destructive criticism, like with those annoyances, it’s not your fault and you’re not the only one it’s happening to.
[Edit: Apparently, this was done in 2004 in the New Yorker. I hadn’t seen that when I wrote this, and I still haven’t seen it. At least it’s not a Ziggy cartoon…]
I
Among those office workers,
The only lively thing
Was the screen of the Blackberry.
II
I was of three minds,
Like a Treo
Or a trio of three Blackberries.
III
The Blackberry whirled in the autumn winds.
IT was a small part of the pantomime.
IV
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a Blackberry
Are none.
V
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The Blackberry ringing
Or just after.
VI
Icicles filled the long window
With barbaric glass.
The shadow of the blackbird
Crossed it, to and fro.
The mood
Traced in the shadow
An indecipherable cause.
Though interesting,
I returned to my Blackberry.
VII
O thin men of Haddam,
Why do you imagine golden birds?
Do you not see how the Blackberry
Can render those birds
on a color screen instead?
VIII
No noble accents
Or lucid, inescapable rhythms;
I know, therefore,
That the Blackberry is involved
In what I know.
IX
When the Blackberry flew out of sight,
It splashed, the center
Of many circles
in the pond.
X
At the sight of Blackberries
Stalling traffic at a green light,
Even the bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.
XI
He flew over Connecticut
In coach.
Once, a fear pierced him,
As he played the game
“The Shadow of His Equipage”
on his Blackberry.
XII
The suit is moving.
The Blackberry must be driving.
XIII
It was busy all afternoon.
It was ringing
And it was going to ring.
The Blackberry sat
in the holster on his hip.
There are three responses to hating a job: keep hating it, change the job, or change your attitude. I spend a lot of time focusing on the “change your job” option because I think that it is usually the best, most practical option.
That being said, stirring up discontentment and trying to draw attention to how much better things could be with a better fitting job (a big part of this site’s approach) sometimes fails to generate action. Instead, there are some people who, for whatever reason, cannot make a change due to self-imposed or external conditions. It might be fear, finances, responsibilities, laziness, timing, uncertainty, or any number of other factors.
For those people, it’s important to take what steps you can to avoid stewing in your dissatisfaction. It does no good to continue to get worked up about your boss, your company, your role, or your paycheck if you don’t ultimately use that energy to make a change.
Now, I cover this approach from time to time as well. There are tips and tricks on how to enjoy work more that don’t require anything as radical as changing companies or careers. What I would like to see more of is a dedication to one approach or the other for each individual as is appropriate for his or her circumstances.
If you’re going to complain, take action. If you’re not going to take action, don’t complain.
What do you think? I know that I’ve been just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to complaining without taking action, so I don’t mean to come across as judgmental. It’s simply a matter of making your life as enjoyable as possible while at work, one way or the other (but not both).
I started this blog back in June, so we’re coming up on the anniversary of the launch. At that time, I’d just left a job that was a bad fit for me, and I wanted to do what I could to help others stuck in a similar situation find a way to enjoy work more. I met an interesting guy with an innovative approach to career assessments, and with a shared passion for helping match people to the right job, we teamed up.
I started the blog to lay a foundation for that business, but it quickly became clear that I was enjoying running this site for its own sake and that some readers felt the same way. Eventually, we decided to part ways as friends, but I had really taken to the site I’d built, the cause of enjoying work more, and the readers and bloggers I’d gotten to know.
Before I knew it, this site had helped me get a few professional writing engagements locally (copywriting, not stuff like I write here), and encouraged by those modest successes, I started entertaining the idea of going back to school, getting a PhD, and eventually teaching and writing for a living as an academic.
AWOL: A Winter Off-Line
It was at this point, in November, that I let things slide. Believe it or not, blogs can take a lot of time, and I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. With working a couple of part time jobs, studying, exploring doctoral programs, and trying to be a good husband, the time I was spending on blogging seemed to be disconnected from my new direction. At the same time, it didn’t seem right to announce an end to the site as I never made a conscious decision either way. I just let it slide, unintentionally at first and then accepting that as a choice by default, even if a choice I was unhappy with. [Click to Continue Reading →]
The first day on the job is huge. It’s the first impression you’ll make on your co-workers, your boss will be looking to see how you are settling in, and you will be trying to get a better feel for what you’ve gotten yourself into.
Instead of haphazardly juggling paperwork, introductions, and your nerves, these 10 steps will help you keep a good sense of perspective and focus as you take on the new world that is your workplace.
Relax: It’s natural to be somewhat uptight on your first day. You’re in a new place, meeting new people, and feeling out a new set of responsibilities. While being excited is good, you don’t want to be uncomfortable and you don’t want to come across as uncomfortable either. Reminding yourself to relax during the day will help you as you meet new people and process your new environment and responsibilities.
Listen well: Make sure that you are doing your best to actually receive the information people are sharing with you. As simple as this one sounds, when everything and everyone around you is new, it can be distracting. Take notes and ask questions if needed to ensure that you’re really absorbing what’s being said. Even though some parts of the on-boarding process are dull (dental plans and fire exits), you’re better off erring on the side of attentiveness.
Focus on your first opportunity to show your value: While the day is probably full of introductions and orientation, you will soon have your first opportunity to demonstrate your worth to the organization. If you have a meeting with the big boss, for example, make sure you prepare for it. While you could get away with walking into a meeting cold on your first day, if you take it as an opportunity to shine, you will make an excellent first impression on the job.
Take care of the paperwork and hoops-jumping quickly and completely: You will almost certainly have paperwork, and you will probably have to set up your email, get a new phone, get a laptop, and set up your voice mail as well. Go ahead and take care of these chores, and if you follow instructions carefully and treat everyone involved with respect, you’ll make a good impression there as well. Remember, you have been hired to take care of work for the company without being a problem. Many employees fail to do these simple administrative tasks excellently, and as a result, become a problem for someone somewhere in the company. It’s simple and stupid, so just take care of it.
Get up to speed on the workings of the company: Really study the training and/or marketing materials you are given. As people tell you about the company, the department, the clients, and the bosses, take some mental notes and maybe some physical notes as well. Again, you were brought on to do work and not be a problem. The less time you spend as a newbie, the better.
Compile a contacts list: When you’re given a name and number, put it in a word document. When you meet someone new, make a note of it on that same document. You’ll remember names more easily, and you won’t have sticky notes all over your desk. When you get in Outlook and you can look up everyone’s info, you can get rid of this document, but in the meantime, this will help you feel less dependent.
Don’t ask too many questions; trust the on-boarding process: If you’re eager to learn, it can be tempting to ask a lot of tangential questions. You’ve got enough to worry about for now by just taking what they are giving you. If something is unclear or if they ask if you have any questions, feel free to ask questions. Just be careful not to press for extra information as that can be taxing and even annoying. Make a list of your questions as they come up, and if at the end of the training, those questions haven’t been answered, you can pick a good time to ask the right people.
Demonstrate proactivity in your area of expertise when you have downtime: Many companies have informal on-boarding processes and limited staff available for training. You may find yourself at a computer or at your desk with little to do from time to time. Take this opportunity to do something productive. Begin to flesh out an idea, make an outline, work on your sales pitch, sketch some designs–whatever you’ve been hired to bring to the company, start doing your homework to make that a reality. Don’t make a show of it, just quietly use your time to get a head start.
Capture ideas for improving the company, just don’t share them yet: In your enthusiasm to make a good impression, you may want to share all of your great ideas with your boss or co-worker. Don’t be so quick to tell everyone what you think could be done differently, even if those great ideas are the reason you were hired. There will come a time for suggesting change, but it is usually a good idea to mostly just observe for a while. You never know which hastily offered suggestion for “improvement” will make you look foolish for misunderstanding the situation or offend someone who created the existing way of doing things. Do write your ideas down, though, as your fresh perspective will be likely to see things differently. Those ideas will be good later.
Socialize when socialized with but not before then: When someone settles near your workspace or when you meet them eye to eye, go ahead and introduce yourself. You’re the new kid on the block, and taking the initiative helps people who may be wondering whether you are a vendor, a contractor, or a new employee. That being said, extended chit-chat is something you should respond to but not initiate. You don’t yet understand the culture of the office, and you haven’t yet proved your worth. While you will want to break the ice and get to know your neighbors, a polite introduction will pave the way for them to dive deeper when they are ready to take a break. While it is your first day and you have relatively little to think about, there’s a good chance your co-workers are immersed in piles of work, and you don’t want to interrupt or distract.
A New Job Well Done
Focusing on these 10 points will help you take a sometimes overwhelming situation and break it down into simple actions for a good first day. At the end of the day, you will feel confident in the work you’ve done, the impression you’ve made, and the outlook for your new job.
The past months have been full of arduous negotiation between the writing staff, the editorial staff, and the ownership of this site.* Fortunately, all stakeholders have finally come to terms, and the team will begin posting additional content in the coming days.
Concerns over the impact on the site’s readership prolonged discussions as to whether or not to even resume production or to simply disband. It was agreed, however, that while a portion of the readership may be turned off and lost by the hiatus, the overall audience would still be appreciative of resumed content.
Finally, the staff of IHYJ wishes to collectively express its regret at abandoning the project for so long and looks forward to restoring the confidence of its readers. Additional details to come later.
*These people are all in fact the same person; the site is fully owned and operated by me alone. A more serious explanation and apology will come later along with my future plans for the site. In all sincerity, I apologize for not accounting for my absence on the site sooner.
If you wanted to quit your job tomorrow, could you do it?
My friend David is in a job that he absolutely loathes. David is a smart, young guy who landed a pretty lucrative first job, yet now that he’s been working there for a year, he’s realized that he’s made some poor choices when it comes to his career and his finances, and he’s miserable.
At work, he’s bored by what he’s doing, and he gets chastised by his peers for “leaving early” because he doesn’t eat all three meals at the office. He’s realized that the work-life balance that he wants to strike is incompatible with what’s expected in his department, and he’s decided that he’s no longer willing to sacrifice certain leisures and freedoms for the benefit of more money.
So, like many people, he’d love to be able to leave his miserable, high-paying job to take a more personally rewarding job with a lower salary. I talk to him about it almost every day, and constantly, I remind him that he’s not alone. In fact, according to a report published by the Conference Board in February of this year, over 60% of American workers under the age of 25 are dissatisfied with their current jobs.
He wants to make a change, but you’ll recall above where I mentioned that David had become aware of some mistakes that he’s made. For one thing, when trying to pick out a job for himself, he had his eyes on the $$$ and not much else. He didn’t care that he didn’t find insurance all that interesting, and didn’t take the time to process what a 60 hour workweek would feel like.
He made some questionable budgeting decisions as well. David drives a relatively new Lexus and lives in an apartment in one of the nicest parts of Chicago. He also is without a rainy-day fund and has moths in his 401k. He’s driven his monthly expenses up too high for the next couple of years and has no savings. So now, though he wants to work in marketing, he’s obligated to maintain his income by something that makes him miserable.
There are ways for him to get out of this mess, and he’s working to that end. But that’s not the point. The point is, he has to face an uphill battle because he’s dug himself into a ditch, and he is just one example of countless people who are tied to jobs because of finances.
Especially if you’re just about to enter the workforce or start a new job, it just makes sense to keep your expenses in check and your savings in high-gear. That way, if you wake up one day so miserable about your job you want to jump off a cliff, you can just quit instead!
I mean, honestly, there comes a point where being able to walk away from a soul-sucking job to focus on a job search is the wise, healthy thing to do, and if can take steps to give yourself that option, why not don’t you?!
Of course, in the vast majority of cases, you should try to maintain your employment until you find something better and get the offer, but what if you’re fired? What if you reach a point where you’re just too miserable in your job to successfully conduct a job search?! What if you want to start your own business?
By keeping expenses under control and continually adding to your various types of savings, you are investing in your ability to survive a career change–voluntary or otherwise. And if you’ve ever known someone who wound up stuck in a truly heinous job, you understand the value of being able to get out of that situation on your own terms.
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